Agent Randall

Bogus info here. Who am I, anyway?
Join the 'Evidence Eliminator Sucks' Conspiracy
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I am Agent Randall, Special Agent in charge of hiding the existence of Martian cities from Robin Hood Software, denying them the chance to provide absolute and unimpeachable security to the oppressed Martian citizens held under the jackboot-shod heels of the Amish/Zionist/Illuminati New World Order. We are single-mindedly dedicated to supressing the propagation of "Evidence Eliminator". This program is truly the apotheosis of computer security. It confuses our Carnivore mailing programs. Our packet taps on the backbone are rendered impotent. It jams our orbital mind control lasers almost as effectively as wrapping aluminium foil around your head. It can't be stopped. Billions of black budget dollars spent are rendered useless by a program written by a single person in Nottingham, England.

Therefore, the conspiracy must resort to spreading disinformation in newsgroups and web pages. We also must resort to "extreme hate speech". Here are some examples:

NEW:We have successfully suppressed the propagation of this SUPER-SECRET unbreakable new "keyless" encryption algorithm, no doubt another product of anti-globalism so-called "free thinker" terrorists: 

#include <stdio.h>

int main() {
   char buf[256];
   int r, i;

   while (r = read(fileno(stdin), &buf, 256)) {
      for (i=0; i<r; i++) {
         if (buf[i] >= 'A' && buf[i] <= 'Z') buf[i]=(buf[i]-52)%26+65;
         if (buf[i] >= 'a' && buf[i] <= 'z') buf[i]=(buf[i]-84)%26+97;
      }
      write(fileno(stdout), &buf, r);
   }
}

Coming Soon: An in-depth cryptographic analysis of this amazing ULTRA-SECURE MAJESTIC 12 CLEARANCE required algorithm.

Personal Information

Just to show you that Conspiracy members have their softer side, here's some personal information on me:

Weapon of choice:Ruger KP944D (because safeties are for the weak) .40 caliber pistol. A Stainless steel beauty that brings a tear to my eye.

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